Microsoft Surface guest stars on TV’s “Suburgatory” -- honest

Ham-fisted product placement casts Surface tablet as love interest in ABC TV sit-com

Microsoft Surface tablet

Last month Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer said about promoting Windows 8, “You will not be able to go to a magazine, to the Internet or turn on the television set without seeing our ads frequently,” but nobody could have predicted the Microsoft Windows 8 Surface tablet would actually be written into the script of ABC sit-com “Suburgatory” as the star’s surrogate boyfriend. But that’s what happened last night. Really. Check it out. You won’t believe how it ends.

RELATED: First look: Windows 8 Surface RT

Microsoft Surface tablet

Suburgatory’s main character Tessa gloats that unlike her best friend Lisa, she’s got a stable relationship. Tessa voiceover: “My tablet and I, we’re still in the honeymoon stage. And let me tell you the two of us were made for each other.”

Microsoft Surface tablet

“My tablet made me laugh.” Note the clearly lit Windows 8 logo.

Microsoft Surface tablet

“It made me cry.”

Microsoft Surface tablet

“And the two of us, we didn’t play games with each other unless you count Frogger.”

Microsoft Surface tablet

Tessa carries the tablet into the next scene where her father grabs it from her hands.

Microsoft Surface tablet

Later Tessa curls up in bed with the Surface to read Edgar Allen Poe stories. Note she’s removing the keyboard.

Microsoft Surface tablet

Her best friend Lisa shows up for a sleepover, and the Surface becomes a prop on the trunk in the bottom right corner.

Microsoft Surface tablet

The show cuts to commercial – a [surprise!] Surface ad.

Microsoft Surface tablet

Lisa annoys Tessa, so Tessa gets her in trouble for smoking a fish in her closet (it’s a long story). Tessa (finally rid of Lisa): “Come here sexy,” [Jumps onto the bed with the Surface.]

Tessa voiceover: “Part of me felt bad for ratting out Lisa but most of me just wanted to get back to the main man in my life.”

Microsoft Surface tablet

Tessa has a nightmare from reading Poe at bedtime and jolts awake with the tablet lying next to her pillow.

Tessa voiceover: “At that moment I realized two things. One, my relationship with electronics was overshadowing my relationship with Lisa. And two, I was reading way too much Poe.”

Microsoft Surface tablet

During the next set of commercials, an ad for Windows Phone.

Microsoft Surface tablet

Tessa apologizes to her friend admitting that when Lisa got a boyfriend, she started her own relationship – and pulls the Surface out of her shoulder bag.

Lisa: “You’ve got a lot of nerve showing up here with that e-reader.”

Tessa: “Tablet, Lisa - a really versatile tablet with full-size USB port and an integrated kickstand and a really sizeable hard drive.”

Microsoft Surface tablet

Lisa: “I get it. I mean it was there for you when I wasn’t, and unlike me it doesn’t just show up when its boyfriend is out of town. I’m really happy for you guys. You look really cute together.”

Microsoft Surface tablet

Tessa: “Lisa, wait. There is one thing this tablet can’t do.”

Lisa (who is picking up trash as community service for smoking the fish): “Pick up tampon applicators in the park?”

Tessa: “OK, two things. It can’t eat friendship fish with its best friend. Well, not this generation anyway.”

Microsoft Surface tablet

Tessa and Lisa eat the friendship fish, Tessa gets food poisoning, goes to the hospital and we never see the Surface again.