A roundup of Google's 2013 April Fools’ gags

Big Query's strictly proscribed annual quota of jollity hits.

april fool's day

Welcome to the year 2013, unfrozen person from 1996! I hope you didn't find the thawing process too uncomfortable. So here's the thing – a company called Google is pretty much the only way anybody does anything on the Internet anymore, and they do a big raft of funny April Fool's Day stuff every year, in order to remind us all that they're a fun and easygoing bunch and not at all evil. Here's what their Whimsy-Tron 5000 algorithm cheeky, clever employees have come up with this year.

ALSO: 10 geeky and foolish ways to celebrate April Fools' day

Google's famous follies

Google Nose
Google Nose

Sharing the contents of the company's Aromabase with the world is a good and noble thing, as is the inclusion of SafeSearch to help weed out unwanted smells. Shame on Google for not directly acknowledging Professor Hubert Farnsworth's contributions to the science, however.

The Levity Algorithm
Credit: YouTube.com
The Levity Algorithm

It's a Gmail feature that punches up your emails with algorithmically determined funnier or more interesting content based on Second City sketches. I liked the guy who wound up being Bob “Boogie” Chambers, but was hoping for a cameo from a famous Second City vet. (Yes, I know it's just a gag video, but Colbert has appeared in weirder things.)

Fiber to the Pole
Fiber to the Pole

The idea of hackers clustering around a telephone pole during a midwestern winter to get fiber-optic-speed Internet access is disturbing on many levels, although picturing my midwestern parents' reaction to a bunch of vaguely hipsterish nerds building colonies on the street does cheer me somewhat.

Gmail Blue
Credit: YouTube.com
Gmail Blue

My pick for funniest Official Humorous Google Joke of 2013 features intense technical types talking about their new redesign of Gmail as though they'd just split the atom. You really just have to watch the video.

Google Maps Treasure Mode
Credit: YouTube.com
Google Maps Treasure Mode

Google Maps now has an API option to turn the world into a treasure map and track pirate ships in real time. Which is handy, because I was just thinking of voyaging from Boston back to the old world, and I'd hate to have to throw these dispatches for Benjamin Franklin overboard. For the record, I'm pretty sure there's no treasure.

YouTube to pick a winner
Credit: YouTube.com
YouTube to pick a winner

Apparently, the whole of YouTube's existence has been leading up to a ceremony that will crown the best video on the entire site. After which it will all be deleted. (There's a live event scheduled for noon EST.)

Google Analytics numbers now available on papyrus
Google Analytics numbers now available on papyrus

Either I'm just getting old, or it's mildly worrisome that Google Analytics apparently considers CD-ROMs as outdated a medium as papyrus. Bonus points for the carrier pigeon and telegram transmission options, though.

Google Wallet Mobile ATM
Google Wallet Mobile ATM

I bet there'd still be an ATM fee somehow. Also, I could tell this was an April Fool's joke because it assumes that people actually use Google Wallet.

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