The Apple Watch is the stupidest piece of gadgetry I have seen in a long, long time.
(I should note that I am not entirely unbiased here. I am a Linux user and an Open Source advocate. And, perhaps most importantly, I like freedom. Apple and I don't tend to see eye-to-eye on that front. But that doesn't make the Apple Watch any less pointless.)
Let's start with the elephant in the room – the price.
The cheap, low-end version of the Apple Watch (the "Sport" model) will set you back a minimum of $350, or $100 more than the Android-powered Moto 360 watch (which Android users have been able to buy and use for a year).
The non-Sport models of the Apple Watch start at $550. I repeat: Five-hundred and fifty dollars. And it goes up from there. FAST. Hitting as high as $1,100 if you want the "black" colored model. That's enough to buy an Android-powered LG G Watch R ($300), an Nvidia Shield Tablet ($300), and then take a stack of 500 one dollar bills and light them on fire. Just to see them burn.
Oh. Did I mention there is a $10,000 model of the Apple Watch? It has 18-karat gold plating on it, which means that you could buy one of the already ridiculously overpriced non-Gold Apple Watches…and have enough money leftover to buy a half-pound gold brick.
Hypothetically, assume you have an iPhone. Then you buy an Apple Watch. Then your iPhone gets dropped down some stairs (hey, it happens). Now you need a new phone. Well, you better go plop down the (nearly) thousand dollars on a new iPhone… otherwise your exorbitantly priced watch just became a useless brick attached to your arm.
So what? It's psychotically expensive. And, yeah, it forces you to use only specific pieces of technology for the indefinite future – effectively locking you out of any other technological advancements that happen outside of the Apple Watch/iPhone world. That doesn't inherently make this a bad watch… does it?
Yes. Yes, it absolutely does. Add to this the fact that the Apple Watch hit the market a year later than the Android-powered smartwatches (which have more flexibility and more power than Apple's gadget), and the Apple Watch instantly becomes a status symbol that declares to the world, "I have too much money, I want to be locked into a hardware ecosystem, and I like my technology to be out of date before I buy it."
But take heart, Apple Watch owners! The guts of that watch you just bought were made by Samsung. So. You know. It's got that going for it.