A careful look inside new spam quarantine

spam
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We recently switched to a new spam filter, so those of us who had blissfully trusted the previous one now must sift through the new quarantine every day to rescue an inevitable handful of false positives from the hundreds of pieces of actual spam.

I had no idea I was missing out on so much sex.

The exercise, while tedious, has also had its moments of amusement, curiosity, and – dare I say it – temptation. A few examples of the subject lines:

Why Amish Have Perfect Hearing

Now this was the first time I had ever heard that the Amish have perfect hearing and I would tend to believe that it's a rural legend. Nevertheless, my first uneducated guess was that it would have to have something to do with the their buggies being quieter than our cars. I was tempted to click on the link, but only briefly.

Re: BANNED Seduction Method?

Again, the curiosity was real. A seduction method so effective that it required our lawmakers to put aside their partisan differences and ban it outright? Bill Cosby’s “method” has long been illegal, so I couldn’t imagine. … Still not curious enough to risk the click.

You’ve Been Accepted by Global Who’s Who

This old scam is still around? Guess there really is one born every minute.

This is risk free

Liar. You're in my spam quarantine.

CAN I TRUST US MY DEAD!!!

Only if all your base are belong to us.

Don't Miss Out - Free Tide Samples

Saw this one a lot and it baffles me. Is “Tide” some kind of euphemism for drugs or sex?

16,000 blueberries from a single plant

Again, this one was practically growing on trees. And despite the fact that I’ve been on a blueberry binge of late – and the little morsels are awfully expensive – I cannot imagine what I’d do with 16,000 blueberries.

I WILL APPRECIATE!!!

I DO NOT DOUBT IT!!!

Get your complimentary ApplePay equipment today

There’s a ton of spam out there targeting Apple Pay. This cannot be a good thing for anyone, particularly Apple.

Be fabulous

That made me smile. Who doesn’t want to be fabulous?

NEW course – Writing Compelling Proposals & Impactful Presentations

Here’s a free pro tip that won’t even cost you a risky click: When writing proposals and presentations – heck, when writing anything -- never use the word impactful … never.

Story: App helps parents get kids to do 30 million chores

Wow! I’d settle for two or three per child, never mind 30 million.

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