Verizon and its Canada Geese are just begging me to fly away to AT&T or T-Mobile

Verizon wireless canada goose
Credit: "Kanadagans Branta canadensis" by Andreas Trepte - Own work. Licensed under CC BY-SA 2.5 via Wikimedia Commons -

I love most animals. We've had cats, fish, frogs, hissing cockroaches, ladybugs, snakes and a ferret living with us at one point or another over the years, and are currently dog sitting. I'm a sucker for wildlife shows and just got back from communing with all sorts of beasts at Yellowstone and Glacier national parks.

But if there's one animal I can't stand, it's the disgusting Canada Goose. It takes a gaggle of them about 30 seconds to turn our riverfront yard into a stinky mess. And who hasn't had a walk, picnic or sports activity marred by these creatures that only PETA could love.

Yet it's these "magnificent creatures" that Verizon Wireless has chosen to have shill for its cellular phone service in its latest TV ad.

We are told by the narrator that the birds  --- which magically transform back and forth during the sloppy ad into different breeds --  are flying away for the promise of a better existence (i.e., cheaper phone service). But they turn around and head back home after they find the unreliable new service causes video buffering on their smartphones.

So they're worried about dropped calls, but all I can think of is goose droppings when I see this ad.

We've tried phony coyotes and toyed with getting border collies or swans to spook the geese. But now I'm tempted to switch to AT&T or T-Mobile to see if their services really will solve our geese problem. I'd put up with a little video buffering for that.

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