OS X code names for US election candidates

Apple marketing made operating system code names a 'thing' so why aren't they making point versions for the election candidates?

gop candidates

Code names for operating systems have become “de rigeur” in the industry but, as far as I can figure out, it wasn’t until 2001 after Apple’s marketing people started using code names as part of their branding (OS X "Cheetah”) that other OS vendors adopted the practice.

Note that it wasn’t that other companies didn’t have code names for their products, it was just that they just didn’t use them as part of product marketing until Apple did (for example, how many people know that Windows XP was code named “Whistler”?).

So, what if Apple marketing was to jump on the U.S. election craziness and provide point releases named after candidates; you'd have a whole list of names for OS X variants, such as the following (note that, where possible, I've used Trumpified names): 

  • OS X "Crooked Hillary" ... not popular with users. Has a corrupted display but support is compelled to say that they can find nothing wrong. Handles email badly.
  • OS X "Drumpf" ...not popular with users. Uses outrageous screen magnification wherever the mouse is and the display has an orange cast. Audio output is loud and erratic.
  • OS X "Christie" ... full of bloatware.
  • OS X "Lyin' Ted" ... religiously saves anything it considers Christian or politically expedient. In practice, this release is hard to distinguish from the much shorter-lived, OS X "Huckabee".
  • OS X "Carly" ... screen appears pinched and the sound quality is shrill. Released as a fork of OS X "Lyin' Ted," it was seen to suddenly fall over and then disappear.
  • OS X "Little Marco" ... randomly chokes and restarts, then, finally, it just quits. 
  • OS X "Jeb! LE" ... a hugely expensive upgrade but some reason the processor only runs at quarter speed.
  • OS X "Gentle Ben" ... appears to be asleep most of the time. When it's not asleep, it makes mumbling sounds. Might try to kill you. It's also an expert system, but, alas, not in a field remotely helpful for managing a computer.[1]
  • OS X "Bernie" ... deletes the most-expensive 1% of your installed software.  Ignores "shutdown -h now".[2]

Comments? Thoughts? Email me your vote or comment below then follow me on Twitter and Facebook.

[1] Expert system quip courtesy of David Weinberger

[2] OS X "Bernie" quip courtesy of my friend, Anon.

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