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By PAUL MCNAMARA
Network World, 09/27/99

Only 95 days, 10 hours, 26 minutes and 7 seconds left until You Know What.

Sorry. Make that 10 hours, 25 minutes and 58 seconds.... 57... 56... "Where did I put that emergency backup solar still?"... 52... 51... 50... "Have you heard that the California National Guard is already on alert?"

. . . 45... 44... 43... "And that Hormel added a third shift?"... because so many people are stocking up on Spam?"... 37... 36... 35. The countdown has begun in earnest, so get used to this kind of thing. As much press hype, public hysteria, silly overreactions and, yes, perfectly justified preparation that there has been so far regarding You Know What, you can be certain of this much: You ain't seen nothin' yet, especially Out There in the Real World where The Bug has taken on Godzillian proportions. Do not let your Y2K team's calm demeanor lull you into thinking that John and Julie Sixpack are taking this Year 2000 stuff in stride.

In fact, you had better strap yourself in for a Y2K buzz-a-thon these last few months before the millennium. Here's a preview what you might see:

October

The New York Stock Exchange hails successful completion of Y2K readiness testing.... Dow plunges 367 points on Internet chatter undercutting the claim as "government propaganda."

The National Football League announces that the traditional Roman numerals used to mark each Super Bowl will be replaced by four-digit dates starting this January.

Internet World conference attendees in New York hear a keynote address from Bill Gates titled: "You Can't Blame Microsoft For This Mess."

Turner Broadcasting System launches a 24-hour-a-day Year 2000 channel featuring live news updates on the half-hour and programs such as "This Old Bomb Shelter" and "Keeping Those Unprepared Neighbors At Bay."

A rock concert to benefit homeless Y2K survivalists draws 103,000 at the University of Michigan. "We can't leave our brothers and sisters to bloody fend for themselves, now can we?" U2's Bono tells the throng.

In his weekly radio address, President Clinton tries to reassure Americans that flying Jan. 1 will be safe by pledging: "Hillary herself will be aboard Air Force One when the clock strikes midnight."

In large part because of a McDonald's promotional giveaway, Year 2000 "Bug" tops list of favorite Halloween costumes in Gallup survey.

November

The head of WeFixY2K.com tells a BusinessWeek interviewer that his start-up's exit strategy "is really quite simple: an island in Fiji."

A spokesman for the American Bar Association calls recently enacted legislation limiting Year 2000-related lawsuits "the greatest injustice this country has seen since the O.J. trial."

Microsoft issues a Y2K patch for still-unreleased Windows 2000 and promises that the operating system it supposedly fixes will ship "early in the new millennium."

Dusting off a page from their antinuclear playbooks, voters in Cambridge, Mass., approve a ballot question declaring their city a "Year 2000 Bug-Free Zone."

A scuffle breaks out between members of a Year 2000 survivalists' organization and Maine environmentalists over the latters' attempts to block expansion plans by the Poland Springs bottled water company.

Former USWeb CEO Joe Firmage posts a report on his UFO-monitoring site blaming the Year 2000 problem on "alien Cobol programmers in cahoots with the CIA."

A pall falls over Thanksgiving dinner tables after widespread hording by Y2K survivalists causes a cranberry shortage.

Home Depot ad reads: "36 Shopping Days Until The Lights Go Out."

Otis Elevator issues a press release denying that it has circulated an internal memo ordering employees to "plan on telecommuting come January... or get used to walking those stairs."

December

Congress declares Dec. 5-11 Year 2000 Preparedness Week, ending 45 days of debate over an amendment to the bill that would have also outlawed flag burning.

"Y2Kill-Kill-Kill" - a slice-and-dice flick about a geek gone berserk - opens to packed movie theaters.

A sleigh manufacturer issues a press release debunking an Internet rumor that the Year 2000 glitch could keep Santa grounded next week. The "Free the Reindeer Coalition" admits starting the rumor.

Latest Gallup Poll shows 11% of American teens still believe Y2K is a rap artist.

Microsoft issues a new patch for its Y2K patch for the still-unreleased Windows 2000 operating system.

Las Vegas oddsmakers begin taking bets on the likelihood of The Strip going dark when the millennium dawns. Opening odds: 2-to-1 against.

The city council in Jackson, Miss., passes an emergency ordinance ordering "all New Year's Eve parties to cease and desist by 11 p.m. so as to keep streets clear of traffic."

A bank in rural Wyoming padlocks its doors after some two dozen of its 132 depositors close their accounts based on the advice of a radio talk-show host.

Lines at ATM machines are reported to be almost as long as those for a record $150 million Big Game lottery jackpot.

An $8 bottle of champagne fetches $1,250 on an eBay auction... and the media still mistakenly thinks that this run on bubbly has something to do with two-digit date fields.

Zero days, zero hours, zero minutes, 4 seconds, 3, 2, 1.

Related links

Contact Senior Editor Paul McNamara

Y2K Countdown Clock
When you need to know to the second...

The Y2K bug is a big joke
Had enough Year 2000 doom and gloom? If so, how about a guided tour of Y2K's lighter and loonier side? Network World, 2/22/99.

Y2K for women
Oh, you male engineers! All you care about when it comes to the Year 2000 problem is whether your routers stay up and how to keep your mainframes from declaring all your customers 100 years in arrears or dead (or both). It takes a woman to know what the REAL Y2K issues are. Network World Fusion, 2/8/99.

Y2K Net Resources
Links to additional info.

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