Bob just got a Treo phone, and he loves it. It does all the things he wants a phone, PDA and coffee maker to do. But he admits that as much as he likes the device, it does weird stuff - specifically, locking up randomly.

Hmmm. Interesting. The first time I got my hands on one in a Cingular store (manned by antisales people) . . .

<digression>Why do the cellular companies set up shops that appear to exclusively hire 20-somethings with absolutely no idea of customer service, minimal manners and a grasp of technology that makes the average fish appear to be well informed? It is like the company wants you to experience just how bad its service can be so you won't be surprised when you call and customer service really sticks it to you.</digression>

. . . I pressed two keys, and it transformed magically into a paperweight. A nice-looking paperweight but a paperweight nonetheless.

I asked an antisalesperson about it, and he mumbled, "Oh yeah, they do that a lot . . . but they're really cool."

Really? Cool as in what? When I was young (no comments, please) cool meant good, slick, neat - something that was cool did what it was supposed to do and did it with style. It didn't mean a dang fashion accessory that might work if the wind was in the right freakin' direction and the gods deigned to smile upon me.

Bob also complains that while his Treo phone has a bigger and more colorful screen, it also has smaller fonts, which is great when you are 20-something, but once that big four-oh passes, it requires reading glasses and squinting.

And Bob can't turn off the 2001-style female voice that insists on announcing all of his calls. Now Bob will freely admit that he hasn't read the manual, but you know what - cell phone company executives and manufacturers, this is where you should be paying close attention, because this is really important - Bob shouldn't have to read the manual.

No one should have to read a manual for a cell phone. They're phones, not scanning tunneling microscopes or nuclear reactors. It shouldn't be that complicated.

For example, I have a Motorola Razr. I acquired it when my AT&T Wireless contract ran out and I had to migrate to a Cingular contract (it felt rather how I imagine being mugged feels).

The Razr has a nice physical design; sleek, the right weight and with one exception, mechanically elegant.