Starting up in 2012

08:52 Welcome to the Microsoft Windows Horizon operating system. Today is July 10, 2012. The temperature outside is 105 degrees Fahrenheit, the wind speed is 40 knots gusting to 80 knots, the air pollution level is extreme and the UV level is dangerous. The Homeland Security Threat Level is red.

09:03 To log on, please enter your name and password. Thank you, your account is valid. Please touch the fingerprint scanner. Thank you, your fingerprint is recognized. Please look into the retinal scanner. Thank you, retinal scan passed.

09:05 Please place a drop of blood on the analyzer. Thank you, your DNA is recognized. We note your sugar and albumen levels are high. Your health insurance provider has been notified and your doctor informed as per the Miller Limbaugh Computer Users Health Reporting Act of 2008. The mandatory $1 health check fee will be added to your Microsoft Service Account.

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08:52 Welcome to the Microsoft Windows Horizon operating system. Today is July 10, 2012. The temperature outside is 105 degrees Fahrenheit, the wind speed is 40 knots gusting to 80 knots, the air pollution level is extreme and the UV level is dangerous. The Homeland Security Threat Level is red.

09:03 To log on, please enter your name and password. Thank you, your account is valid. Please touch the fingerprint scanner. Thank you, your fingerprint is recognized. Please look into the retinal scanner. Thank you, retinal scan passed.

09:05 Please place a drop of blood on the analyzer. Thank you, your DNA is recognized. We note your sugar and albumen levels are high. Your health insurance provider has been notified and your doctor informed as per the Miller Limbaugh Computer Users Health Reporting Act of 2008. The mandatory $1 health check fee will be added to your Microsoft Service Account.