7 More Things Not to Do on Facebook

Simple Ways We Can All Enjoy Facebook Together

By Keith Shaw on Fri, 05/14/10 - 3:52pm.

There’s a Yahoo Finance link that’s going around the social-o-sphere called "7 Things to Stop Doing Now on Facebook", with good advice like not posting your birthday, mentioning that you’re going to be away from your house or using a weak password. Good, solid stuff, that we should all be doing anyway.

But that’s just the start. There’s so much more that we, as a nation (and global community) should not be doing on Facebook that can make life enjoyable for the rest of us. Here’s my list, based on things that I’ve seen others (and yes, I’m guilty of some of this stuff, too) do on Facebook.

1. Stop trying to get Betty White to host anything, or recruit someone else to host Saturday Night Live. Yes, the episode was funny, and it was based on a Facebook campaign that started after her funny Snickers commercial on the Super Bowl, but let’s stop there. I really don’t need to see "Jane X joined the group 'LET’S GET ABE VIGODA TO HOST AMERICAN IDOL'. This also goes for political groups, I don’t need to see that "Fred joined 'I’LL BET WE CAN GET 1 MILLION PEOPLE TO JOIN THIS GROUP TO END WORLD PEACE.'"

2. Stop posting sentimental sayings as your status updates. Look, I love my kids. I love my wife. I love my parents. I don’t need to post this as my status update so that everyone else can see this. If you love this idea, post it as your status update (no, wait a second ...).

3. Don’t join a group that’s basically a funny statement. I’m fine if you are a fan of the TV show Glee, a radio station or a grocery store, or other things where you might get tips, free coupons or other such items. But joining a group called "I want to slap someone in the face every time they say 'Dude'" is pointless. You’re not going to get any value out of that group, you’re only allowing spammers to find your name on the list of "fans" for the group. If you really do want to slap someone in the face every time they say 'Dude', just put that as your status update. It’s funnier, and then your friends can comment on the statement.

4. Play games, but don’t be obnoxious about it. It’s OK if you want to play Mafia Wars, or build a farm, or play a game of Scrabble (ahem, Lexulous) with a friend. I get it – I play some of these games as well. But when the game asks you if you want to publish something to your wall announcing that you just found a secret stash of yellow bananas, hit the "skip" button. Don’t tell the world. And if you’re sending gifts, send them to only your friends who are playing the game with you. Here’s rule 4A: If you’re no longer playing the game, delete the app, so I don’t look like a jerk for constantly sending you gifts that you’re not going to use in the game.

5. Don’t enter ANY contest that is offering a free iPad, iPhone or other hot gadget. Seriously. You’re NOT going to win. Go buy some scratch tickets instead.

6. Don’t "Like" more than one thing at a time. I’m fine if you want to join the "Burn Notice" group so you can get updates from the show, but if you’re going to join, don’t join anything for at least a day. This way I don’t have to be subjected to News Feed items like "Bill likes Burn Notice, Toast and LEBRON JAMES SHOULD STAY IN CLEVELAND". One like at a time, peeps.

7. Stop posting quotes or song lyrics as your status update. "Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other." – Abraham Lincoln. Wow, I’m impressed that you can use Google. Come up with your own witty quote or statement, stop borrowing from others. Yes, you can quote me on this if you want.

There, if everyone just follows these rules, Facebook will be better for all of us. Feel free to add additional rules in the comments area.