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How Verizon workers are like Charles Manson

It's simply a matter of life in the technological age

By Paul McNamara on Thu, 02/03/11 - 9:27am.

Charlie Manson

These days both Verizon executives and California prison officials are fighting the same immutable law of human nature: When people want their phones, people want their phones.

So whether you're imploring a workforce of 194,000 to delay buying an iPhone or a prison population of roughly the same size to eschew such devices altogether, you're pretty much looking at the dropped call to end all dropped calls. In other words: Your neighbor the Verizon technician and serial killer Charles Manson are the same guy ... at least in this sense. Look at this morning's headlines.

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First we have Verizon officials so concerned about demand for its upcoming iPhone launch outstripping supply that they have asked employees to put off buying one. From AppleInsider quoting a Verizon internal e-mail:  

"Customers and non-customers alike have waited for years to see this product on America's most reliable wireless network. Demand will be unprecedented," wrote Verizon Wireless Chief Operating Officer John Stratton in an email sent to "U.S.-Based Management Employees," a copy of which was obtained by AppleInsider.

"To help ensure we meet customer demand for iPhones, Verizon is urging employees and their families to postpone purchases of the popular smartphone, whether online or in retail stores, for the time being."

Yeah, good luck with that, Jack. I'm a Verizon worker who's been lusting for an iPhone since they were introduced on Jan. 9, 2007 - exclusively on The Forbidden Network - and now that I can finally have one without having to hide it in my lunch bag you want me to wait? And, to add unlikely to improbable, you want me to endure the derisive laughter of my family members when I ask them to do the same?

Please, oh please, Verizon workers, see it in your hearts to forward to me any interoffice e-mail strings generated by that request - especially relating to the "and their families" part.   

Next up we have Manson, that phone freak. From a story on an NBC Los Angeles Web site:

Serial killer Charles Manson was caught for a second time with a smuggled cell phone. A source at the California's Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation told KCRA TV in Sacramento the phone was discovered in Manson's cell at Corcoran State Prison on Jan. 6.

Phone smuggling has been called an epidemic in California prisons.  In the first nine months of 2010 prison officials reported confiscating 7,000 cell phones on prison grounds.

The Verizon iPhone debuts Feb. 10. Imagine the frenzy to be first on your cell block to get one.

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