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No humor zone: 33 things you should never say to a TSA agent

Transportation Security Administration blog takes note of dumb, or just plain aggressive comments made by travelers

By Layer 8 on Thu, 04/04/13 - 11:32am.

There is no humor in an airport.  It's a fact.  And while most travelers business or otherwise know that,   there are a few out there who haven't gotten the message or perhaps the choose to ignore it. 

Either way the "People Say the Darndest Things" or "What Not to Say at an Airport" section has become one of the more popular destinations on the TSA Blog site.

[MORE NEWS: 25 crazy and scary things the TSA has found on travelers]

The first things you'll notice about things you shouldn't say to a TSA agent revolve around some sort of bomb threat.  Others involve the use of some sort of weapon.  Whatever the comment, the usually inane comments can result in arrest, delays or if the threat is more than your average comment - evacuation of the area r airport. 

Gathered from the TSA's site, here is a list of some of the comments the TSA didn't look too kindly upon:  

  • A passenger flying out of San Juan told the ticket agent that her bag contained a bomb and she was going to blow up the plane. After it was all said and done, her bag didn't have a bomb, but as a result of her threat, the ticket counter, checkpoint, and terminal were closed for nearly an hour. There were consequences.
  • An Amarillo (AMA) passenger arrived to the checkpoint visibly upset and during screening, he told the officer: "I don't have any bombs, at least not yet."
  • A passenger at San Juan (SJU) told the gate agent that she had an atomic bomb in her bag. She had to explain to Puerto Rico Port Authority Police, FBI, and TSA that she was just joking.
  • After being told he was not permitted to bring two cans of soda in his checked carry-on baggage, a Phoenix (PHX) passenger told the Officer that each soda can had a 30-second detonator inside of it. There were no detonators in the cans.
  • During a bag search, a Flint (FNT) traveler stated: "Be careful, there's a bomb in my bag."
  • After learning that his luggage had made a flight that he missed, a Las Vegas (LAS) passenger told the gate agent: "Imagine there was a bomb in my bag. I'm not on plane, and it would explode."
  • An individual approached a general aviation ramp at Knox County Airport (RKD) and stated that aircraft were buzzing his house and if it did not stop, he was going to shoot one down.
  • A Newark (EWR) passenger stated "I have a bomb in my bag" to one of our officers. She then went on to explain that she was just joking.

[MORE: Hockey sticks, pocket knives and billiard cues among carry-on items TSA will soon let onboard planes]

  • While preparing to go through the security lane, a passenger at Chicago O'Hare (ORD) asked: "Should I remove my gun and bomb, too?"
  • A passenger at LaGuardia (LGA) going through the checkpoint stated: "It's not like I have a bomb in my bag, but I could have."
  • A gate agent at Charlotte (CLT) asked a passenger what he was carrying in a box. The passenger replied: "I have a bomb."
  • A passenger at Portland (PDX) told the officer checking his ID that he had a bomb in his cell phone A Denver (DEN) passenger in the gate area was overheard on his cell phone stating: