Converging on Microsoft

Mitchell Ashley

Previous Article Next Article

Top 10 Apple iPhone 4 Press Conference Responses and Why Microsoft Is To Blame

A "bumper" case and hardware fix in new phones are most likely what's in today's announcement, but lets have a little fun making up some other crazy possibilities.

By Mitchell Ashley on Fri, 07/16/10 - 10:19am.

. What's this?

Here's a tongue-in-cheek look at the top 10 possible announcements Apple will make at today's iPhone 4 press conference.

1. A $29.99 “bumper” case available in August will solve the antenna problem.
2. The “bumper” case will be given free to all customers.
3. iPhone 4 purchasers will be given a $30 credit for the Apple store or iTunes.
4. The IOS 4.0.1 patch fixed all the problems.
5. This was due to user error – customers were touching End (hang up) when they believed they touched Call.
6. This was all due to crude oil fumes released by the BP oil spill into the ionosphere.
7. Bill Gates finally released his botnet upon the iPhone, injecting nefarious code into IOS 4.
8. The iPhone 4 mistakenly shipped with early beta Windows 7 Mobile code downloaded by an Apple summer intern and linked into IOS 4.
9. Apple's releasing all of their "I'm A Mac" Windows Vista attack ads on iTunes, Blu-Ray and DVD.
10. Because of the large iPhone market penetration, Steve Jobs mistakenly believed the iPhone no longer needed an antenna because users would simply join hands and create one worldwide human antenna.

Bonus #11: The iPhone 4's problems are a perfect example of why Apple will never allow Adobe Flash on the iPhone.

Okay, my best guess is really that Apple will announce a hardware fix in all new iPhone 4's for the antenna problem, the IOS 4.0.1. patch fixed the signal strength display, and all current iPhone 4 owners are eligible to receive a free "bumper" case. Thanks for letting me have a little fun with today's press conference.

Tags

What is Tech Briefcase?

TechBriefcase is a new, free service where IT Professionals can Search, Store and Share IT white papers and content like this. Learn more

Bookmark content

Speed up your research efforts with content across the web.

Search and Store

Find the white papers you need. Create folders for any topic.

View Anywhere

Open your briefcase on your iPhone, tablet or desktop. Share with colleagues.

Don't have an account yet?

About Converging on Microsoft

Mitchell Ashley has a diverse background in software development, network engineering, information security, mobility, collaborative technologies, and IT management and operations. An early adopter of social media in business, he began blogging about security and information technologies in 2006 at theconvergingnetwork.com. Mitchell is VP of Information Technology at CableLabs in Louisville, CO, and previously held positions as CIO, CTO and VP Engineering at prior companies.