Rove quitting to spend more time with his iPhone

Presidential political advisor Karl Rove, perhaps the most controversial figure in history’s most unpopular administration, has told the Wall Street Journal that he will resign at month’s end in order to devote more time to his iPhone.

Rove’s relationship with Apple’s phenomenon of a phone was first revealed last week by TIME magazine in this photograph, after which political observers began to chatter that the picture may well have signaled the end of Rove’s reign as “the brain” of President Bush.

"There's always something that can keep you here, and as much as I'd like to be here, I've got to do this for the sake of my family," Rove yesterday told the newspaper, which while an unwavering ally of the president, oddly enough, has not been known for its coverage of the iPhone. Rove’s son attends college in San Antonio and is said to be having trouble deciphering the advanced features of the iPhone, in particular, its e-mail deletion capabilities.

Rove is considered one of the nation’s foremost experts on e-mail deletion, although he – like the rest of us -- is relatively new to making things disappear from the iPhone. Rove has long been an innovator in leveraging the phone for “competitive advantage” in the often rough-and-tumble world of national politics.

College academics should prove child’s play by comparison, although Rove says he’s taking on this new challenge without false pretenses.

“There comes a time in every man’s life when he must put the needs of his phone, er, I mean family, ahead of even those of his country,” Rove said. “The boy’s quite accomplished with the computer stuff – OK, mostly games and that damn iPod, but … He just needs a little bit of extra TLC with the new phone.”

Rove later denied that his voice cracked on the words “extra TLC.”

A statement issued by the White House press office indicated that the president is fully behind Rove’s decision.

“Laura and I have always loved and respected Karl,” Bush said, “and we know that he is first and foremost a family man. That iPhone can be tricky, I’m told. God’s speed to him.”

There’s been no word from the White House as to how the Bush twins – Jenna and Barbara – are coping with their iPhones.

(Update: There is absolutely no truth to widespread media reports that Rove and/or his son are considering the radical "whittling" thumb surgery to help them cope with their iPhone challenges.)

(Update 2: "Fake Steve Jobs" isn't very happy about Rove having one of his phones.)

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