Our national obsession with mutilated private parts and belching ruminants

Sometimes I think the mainstream media – even television news – gets a bad rap when it comes to criticism that all they do is cater to the lowest common denominator.

How about blaming the lowest common denominator once in awhile, too?

The idea occurs during my vacation reading this morning as I note three of the Top 5 most often e-mailed stories, according to Yahoo News.

Now before I get to the headlines, ponder for a moment the thought and effort one must expend to e-mail a story from a Web site to friends and family. While not rocket surgery or terribly taxing, it’s a non-trivial task that requires more of the sender than, say, simply clicking on a link or voting in an online poll. The act of e-mailing these stories stands as affirmative evidence of the sender’s rapt appreciation of their content and confidence in that judgment being shared by any and all receiving the personal recommendation.

In other words, these “most-emailed” lists are a fair and relatively accurate barometer of general public interest … or at least the lowest common denominator’s version of same.

Which brings us back to Yahoo News and this morning’s trio of favorites.

At No. 5, we have: “Belching moose add to global warming.”

Now it’s possible I underestimate the news value here: Not only does this story remind us that moose are ruminants, but it will be immensely helpful should you ever be asked this question on a quiz show: Which accounts for greater CO2 emissions? A transatlantic airplane flight or a year’s worth of moose burp?

Alex, I’ll take moose burp for $1,000, please.

At No. 2, we have: “British dwarf's penis gets stuck to hoover.”

I am sorry, but not even in the interest of advancing professional journalism was I going to read that story, a reticence that clearly was not shared by many a Yahoo News user. You’re on your own regarding the details. (I will note, however, that the URL indicates that someone within Yahoo News or France’s AFP News decided to file this story under “entertainment.”… Go figure.)

And, finally, at No. 1, we get: “Woman sets fire to ex-husband's penis.”

This one I read. Can’t say that I found it a particularly good use of my vacation time, but at least it did give me a new appreciation for the civility of my own former spouse.

There you have it, folks, the collective news judgment of Joe and Josephine Six-Pack.

So how about a round of applause for your professional news editors?

Or at least a little more understanding.