Microsoft to Buy Sun Microsystems (spoof alert)

You may have heard the industry rumors about IBM buying Sun Microsystems. These rumors have floated up from time to time in recent years, but this time they’ve been flying thick and fast, and many industry observers feel that an acquisition is a logical step for IBM to solidify its presence in the server hardware market.

Today, however, a highly-placed source in Redmond (a Microsoft exec I can’t name but who I knew in high school) hinted to me that Microsoft is planning to undercut the IBM deal and buy Sun itself. I told my old classmate that this seems like an unusual move – after all, Microsoft’s business is 99% software and 1% hardware. However, he had more to say.

“Remember several years ago, when Sun chairman Scott McNealy referred to Windows as ‘a partially debugged set of device drivers’? Well, it turns out that neither Gates nor Ballmer ever forgot that remark. Microsoft is going to buy Sun at a fire-sale price and put the engineers to work designing servers optimized for Server 2008.”

I commented that that would definitely be a case of revenge served cold, but my old friend said I hadn’t heard the whole story. “Once the deal is done, word is that Bill and Steve are going to personally hand McNealy his pink slip, sealed between two framed panes of glass, with a plaque on the frame saying ‘Debug this, Java Boy!’.”

You read it here first. (On April first.)

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