They've heard 'em all

IT pros recount their favorite tales of clueless users.

Mandy Andress was working in IT at a university library when she told a user that to help correct a computer problem, she'd have to see her cookies.

"They brought me homemade cookies the next day," says Andress, a member of the Network World Lab Alliance and president of security consulting firm ArcSec Technologies.

"I was initially a bit confused but then just had to laugh," Andress says, adding that the user had been quite serious.

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Mandy Andress was working in IT at a university library when she told a user that to help correct a computer problem, she'd have to see her cookies.

"They brought me homemade cookies the next day," says Andress, a member of the Network World Lab Alliance and president of security consulting firm ArcSec Technologies.

"I was initially a bit confused but then just had to laugh," Andress says, adding that the user had been quite serious.

That kind of misunderstanding isn't unusual for IT professionals dealing with users who aren't necessarily the most tech-savvy. Discussions with more than a dozen IT people turned up stories that ranged from the naive to the bizarre.

"You have to have a good sense of humor to work at this," says Jeff Whitmore, director of IT at guitar strings and accessories maker Ernie Ball of San Luis Obispo, Calif.

"My favorite request is from people wanting me to 'Restart the Internet [because] it seems frozen,'" he says. "I'm going to quit the day I stop laughing at some of the things people think we should and can do."

Read even more unusual requests and add your own.

Ross McKenzie, IS director at Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health in Baltimore, says he got a call at his home one Friday night from a well-respected user who was frantic because he couldn't reach his online banking sites.

"The user apologized for inconveniencing me, but told me he had already called 911 and was told to call me. By now I'm fully awake and out of bed. The user goes on to tell me he is sure that the Internet is 'under attack,'" McKenzie says.

McKenzie says he logged on to check things out himself and found the Internet to be responding as normal.

"I e-mailed him and reported this. Then I asked if he had changed any of his software programs lately. He reported that he had installed a new version of his browser that same night," McKenzie says. "I asked him to see if he had enabled cookies and sent him a short explanation of how to do that. His reply, and coincidentally, the last time I ever heard from him, was 'Oh . . . thanks. Never mind about the attack.'"

While troubles with the Internet and e-mail account for a large number of requests to IT staff, the systems remain a mystery to many users.

Todd Fink, senior telecommunications administrator at Premier Bankcard in Sioux Falls, S.D., says he once got a request from a user looking for another coffee holder for his computer.