Expert advice for lovelorn techies

Lookin' for love? Then shave off that scraggly beard, ditch the too-tight tee from a geeky conference last decade and leave the Teva sandals at home. That's just some of the advice from matchmakers who help techies master the dating scene.

From Route 128 outside Boston to Highway 101 in Silicon Valley, techies seem to run into the same problems when it comes to dating. They dress too casual. They don't talk enough, and when they do talk it's about work. And sometimes they're so busy writing code or tinkering with systems that they forget to shower. (Read a Q&A with an online dating expert to learn the hottest trends and view a slideshow of the 10 best places to take a techie on a date.)

"We definitely have to talk to techies about grooming and social skills," says Julie Paiva, CEO and founder of Table for Six Total Adventures, a matchmaking service in the San Francisco Bay Area. Paiva has thousands of techie clients and claims credit for more than 900 marriages in Silicon Valley.

"We tell techies to get a nice dinner jacket, even if it's just to pop over a Polo shirt. If they're wearing khakis and a T-shirt, we encourage them to have it color coordinated," Paiva says. "Ponytails are OK. The problem is having them clean, shiny and well-groomed."

The bottom line for techies: You don't want to look like a member of ZZ Top. But you should follow the rock band's fashion advice `cause every girl crazy `bout a sharp dressed man.

The same holds true for techie women. Leave the sneakers at home and strap on a pair of heels, matchmakers recommend. And don't forget to shave your legs.

"Put on some lipstick and let your hair down,'"Paiva suggests. "Techie women need to think about investing in a few shapely black dresses because dresses are really attractive to men of all ilk."

Techies may be brilliant at computer science, but they often need a little tutoring in Romance 101. That's where matchmakers come in.

More than other professionals, techies are comfortable seeking help from online dating sites and matchmaking services to improve their love lives.

"Techies are more willing to try online dating services because that's what they're comfortable with. They can manipulate data and move it around. They can get around one of these sites a lot easier than regular folks," says Paul Falzone, CEO of matchmaking services The Right One of Norwell, Mass. and Together Dating of Washington D.C.

"But after being misled and lied to at online sites, they get frustrated and then they come to us," Falzone says. He estimates that around 30% of his clients -- which total 300,000 members at 60 locations -- work in technology-related fields. Falzone says his dating services are responsible for more than one marriage a day nationwide.

The popularity of Web sites such as Match.com and eHarmony.com has made it acceptable for techies to use dating services. Increasingly, they are shifting from online-only sites to full-fledged matchmaking services

"Techies know that they are not going to meet people who want to get serious about dating and get married online. And they're not going to meet the right people when they are out and about on their own," says Amy Brinkman, director of matchmaking at It's Just Lunch Silicon Valley, a matchmaking service with a majority of its clients working at technology firms. "They're outsourcing so many other things, this is something they can outsource, too."