Why you should never ask a NASCAR race analyst about technology

NASCAR legend and current TV racing analyst Darrell Waltrip knows as much about network technology as I do about stock car racing. At least that's the case based on the cyber exchange I had via a fun new FoxSports.com/MSN Web site feature powered by Carnegie Mellon University-developed technology that lets NASCAR fans pose questions to racing experts.

The virtual "DW," a video image dressed in black who crosses his arms, thinks hard and fidgets a bit, is based on "synthetic interview" technology created by CMU researchers, and that in the past has been used to enable people to "interview" famous figures such as Albert Einstein and Ben Franklin. In this case, the multimedia database technology has been adapted for NASCAR use in honor of this past weekend's 50th running of the Daytona 500 by a student project team at the CMU Entertainment Technology Center. (The virtual DW reminded me of SGT STAR, an artificial intelligence program used by the U.S. Army as a recruiting tool.)

When it came time for me to grill the virtual DW, I confess my motives weren't entirely pure.

Taking a page from our story late last year about Microsoft's infamous potty-mouth Santa, which when prompted could be led to stray from the children's topics it was designed to address, I naturally tried to trick the virtual Waltrip into saying something he might regret about sex or drugs. But he played it safe, generally replying: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's keep it to racing" or "Gee, I've never really thought about that." When asked about stealing from other drivers, he replied with a list of his bad habits: "Let's see, next to lying, and stealing and cheating what were some of my other not-so…."

Strangely enough, the virtual DW brought up the issue of technology before I could. I asked him an honest-to-goodness question about 2007 Daytona 500 winner Kevin Harvick, who was dethroned this past weekend by Ryan Newman.

Question: What do you think of Kevin Harvick?

Answer: I'm not a technical guy. I'm a common sense, kind of seat of the pants guy. I'm not real technical. I figure if you've got a phone, what do you need a fax, or if you got a fax what do you need an e-mail, or if you've got an e-mail, what do you need all that for. But nonetheless, I'm getting there and it's kind of exciting once you figure out how to do some of those things.

He gave the same reply when I asked him if he preferred Windows or Linux, DSL or cable modem service.

Anyway, since he brought up technology (and gave me the same reply about his lack of technology expertise when I asked him for this thoughts on "restrictor plates"), I figured I'd continue with the theme and asked him what he thought about last year's court battle between AT&T and NASCAR, in which AT&T was attempting to change the logo on the No. 31 car, which used to have Cingular's logo emblazoned on it.  But the program told me that DW didn't understand the term "lawsuit," so instead he went on to talk about his favorite moment as a driver.

I then asked about whether steroids is a problem in the sport, but he didn't understand the term steroids and instead told me about his favorite sports other than stock car racing.