Lessons from Bill Gates' dad: Whitman College commencement speech

Editor's note: This is a transcript of a commencement speech delivered to Whitman College students by William Gates, Sr.(above). His son, Microsoft founder Bill Gates, delivered a commencement address last spring at Harvard University.

May 18, 2008

It is customary to start by congratulating the graduating seniors. And you deserve it, no doubt about it. You've spent four years of intense reading, writing and thinking. But, speaking as a father who couldn't get his own son to finish college, I really want to congratulate the parents. How'd you do it?

It was very kind of you to invite me here. And it is especially generous of the graduates to believe that I might have something useful to say to you about your future. As I just suggested, my record as a motivator of youth is spotty at best.

A very long time has passed since my own graduation.

It was long enough ago that men wore hats. Long enough ago that the Los Angeles Lakers were called the Detroit Gems.

The point is, there are plenty of ways in which I am very far away from your experience.

So, I am going to talk about some very basic things — ideas you will be comfortable with, notwithstanding your being the product, today, of experiences, teachings and observations quite different from those which had shaped my world view when I sat where you are some 60 years ago.

My premise is that there may be value to you in hearing what an 82-year-old man has to say about the ingredients that cause him to look back at that life with satisfaction.

My strongest basis for confidence in presuming to lecture to you here today arises from my knowing that my few thoughts for you are not going to fall far from your existing belief system — I expect I may, at best, make explicit or give reinforcement to what you already hold as your values.

Let me open by suggesting that among worthy goals is what you might call personal indulgence. There is nothing wrong with learning how to hit a golf ball straight -- nothing wrong with learning to appreciate beautiful paintings or plant a garden.

By far the most rewarding part of my life is — and always has been — that top item on my list: raising a family. And if there's one thing about your future I feel comfortable in predicting, it is that you either do or will feel the same way. I want you to know, by the way, that I mean family in the broadest sense — whether by blood, adoption, or bonds of affection.

Let me suggest that you be as deliberate as you can be about the job of raising your family. Being deliberate helps translate your fundamental human decency into your behavior as a parent.

It is intriguing to me that, as a culture, we so seldom look for or accept any guidance in how to be a parent. You need a Ph.D. to teach 20-year-olds for a few hours a week. Based on current priorities in our society, you don't need anything at all to teach an infant for 168 hours a week. But which does more good if you're skilled? And which does more harm if you're not? I'm not saying you should get a certificate in parenting, but you should think very carefully about what kind of parent you want to be and how to get there.