CES 2013: Diary of a CES noob, Day 1

Getting lost behind the scenes at CES 2013 in Las Vegas, waiting to see the good stuff

CES is one of the few big techie events that I was at least moderately familiar with before I started working here at Network World, less than a year ago. I always thought of it as the nerd playground to end all nerd playgrounds, with years-from-release technology available to the eager gadgeteer.

And I was right -- sort of.

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7 a.m. - wake-up call. Have one of those awkward "thank you" moments where you're not actually sure if you just talked to a machine or not.

7:05 a.m. - call room service for light continental breakfast. OK, fine, sausage and eggs.

7:15 a.m. - emerge from shower, made more exciting by highly variable water temperature.

7:20 a.m. - accept breakfast from genial hotel employee who apparently is a former Marine. Feel vaguely guilty that he's bringing callow young journalists food for a living, much less vaguely under-accomplished in comparison.

7:45 a.m. - work in hotel room while watching episodes of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" out of corner of eye on Netflix.

8:30 a.m. - romp downstairs, dressed to kill, well ahead of schedule for shuttle to Las Vegas Convention Center and 10 a.m. session.

8:31 a.m. - realize CES credentials -- which arrived in mail with multiple exhortations to "please remember to bring these to the event!" are sitting on nightstand in Cambridge, Mass.

8:32 a.m. - general panic and disarray.

8:35 a.m., on shuttle bus -- Resolve to throw self on mercy of CES staff before sending "help, I'm an idiot" email to long-suffering editors.

9:00 a.m., Las Vegas Convention Center - Throw self on mercy of cordial CES staffer in registration tent, follow his directions to press center. Two further cordial staffers issue necessary credentials without batting an eye.

9:10 a.m. - rejoice.

9:15 a.m. - celebratory Starbucks. Relaxing walk around outside of Convention Center, made more relaxing by realization that scheduled panel discussion isn't due to begin until noon.

9:50 a.m. - relaxation diminished by further glance at CES 2013 scheduling app, which indicates that session does indeed start at 10 a.m.

9:55 a.m. - not-quite jog to conference room, which is located at far end of facility, because of course it is.

10:01 a.m. - sweatily plop into seat in crowded conference room, to undoubted delight of people on either side. Realize with relief that event hasn't started yet.

10:05 a.m. - absorb insightful commentary on mobile ecosystem, while hoping like crazy that awful sound system's buzzing and crackling doesn't make recording of proceedings unusable.

10:30 a.m. - sound system calms down. Commentary perfectly audible, with partial exception of panelist with very soft speaking voice.

10:35 a.m. - sound system goes out completely with parting volley of buzzes and cracks. Soft-spoken panelist, naturally, begins speaking more frequently.

11:10 a.m., press center - discover that recording is perfectly audible, though requires volume cranked to 11. Transcribe normal-sounding voices accompanied by sound system noises elevated to 1812 Overture levels.

11:25 a.m. - google "ear damage decibel levels."

Noon - realize that focus of panel story is all wrong.

1:30 p.m - finally finish story and file to editors. Decide it's time to check out the show floor.

1:40 p.m. - find like two operational booths in giant exhibition hall. Venture deeper in.

1:45 p.m. - get overwhelmed by sheer scale of exhibition hall. Almost certainly lost.