I am writing this article on a balcony overlooking the beach in Cancun, Mexico. Some of you will no doubt read this and think to yourself, "Aha, lucky guy! Mike is down there going from nightspot to nightspot, once again shooting the latest version of the video tape series 'Analysts Gone Wild!'" Nothing, however, could be further from the truth.

I have in fact traveled all this way for more noble purposes: I needed to get an appropriate amount of distance between myself and the rigors of my regular job so that I could concentrate on delivering to my readers what you have all been waiting for - the results of the Great 2005 Storage Haiku Contest! Nothing stands between me and my duty to the readers of this newsletter.

First, a few comments about the entries.

The more blatantly pro-product entries that some of the vendors tried to sneak in were immediately discarded. This left an often interesting mix of contributions that came in from three continents, with writers from corporate IT, from vendors, from PR agencies that work with the vendors, and from a group of people I can only categorize as lurkers at the periphery of storage. Why such people would read this newsletter I have no idea, but apparently they do.
And of course, many contributions came in from writers who wished to remain nameless. Considering that not a few of them took shots at their own employers' strategies and products, this was quite understandable.

So let's get started with the first batch of winners.

Award for Best Entry from Europe:

Spring vibrates, trees bud;
Sprawling fibers three, but 
Now the boss enters

- Ernst Lopes Cardozo,
Aranea Consult BV (The Netherlands)

Award: Most Creative Response to Regulatory Issues:

Pour water on drives!
Investigators want it -
E-mail from last CEO.

- Charles Tuite

Award for Historical Accuracy:

Broken storage array
Not even one backup here
Company bankrupt

- Benjamin F. Kuo,
Troika Networks

Special Award: Shamelessness Under Fire:

Read his feature each week
Tongue firmly planted in cheek
Karp, the storage geek

- Rick Barnett,
Paaridian Technologies

Special Award: Best Use Of A Pun In A Genre Not Usually Known As A Medium For Punning:

All the SANS of time
Erode lifecycle hopes for
Knowing truth from data

- Dennis Drogseth,
Enterprise Management Associates

Whitepapers

• 6 Simple Steps to Disaster Recovery Planning
• PRICING STUDY: GROUNDWORK OPEN SOURCE VS. HP SOFTWARE
• Boost Productivity While Cutting Costs with Next-generation Collaboration
• Deploying Virtualized NetWare on Linux Whitepaper
• Driving Business Success Through Workgroup Choice and Flexibility
• Toward More Flexible, Next-Generation Collaboration Solutions

View more DATA CENTER whitepapers

Webcasts

• Transforming the Enterprise WAN Edge: Video from Cisco
• Branch Office Trends and Best Practices
• Best Practices for Deploying WAN Optimization for Disaster Recovery
• Tips and Techniques for Remote Data Backup and Delivery
• WAN Optimization Landscape
• Solutions to the Toughest IT Challenges in Remote Offices

View more DATA CENTER webcasts

Special Reports

• IT Buyer's Guide To: Data backup and Replication
• Bringing IT Operations Management to Open Source and Beyond
• Data Centers: At the center of the action
• Executive Guide: Virtualization Reality Check
• Executive Guide: Storage Heats Up
• Get More From Your WAN

View more DATA CENTER special reports