Power to laugh

Respondents to a Network World Fusion poll poke fun at the network industry, its fearless leaders and the technology behind it all.

By Ryan Francis, Network World
December 27, 2004 12:02 AM ET

. What's this?

Reader comments:
- That Terry Bradshaw look is unbeatable!
- Better than Trump's.
- No fuss, no muss. Very powerful.

Who's got the best power 'do?

A) Steve Ballmer - 54%
B) Sam Palmisano - 23%
C) Mark Andreessen - 23%

Who do you consider networking's equivalent to the Terminator?

A) Carly Fiorina - 67%
B) Joe Tucci - 21%
C) Michael Capellas - 12%

Reader comments:
- There's no stopping her.
- One hard lady.
- Carly terminated Capellas, didn't she?

Reader comments:
- Difficult to shift the buggers without a forklift and/or dynamite.
- Likely to be the Stonehenge of the future. It's been going away for 20 years. And never really left, has it?
- It is dependable and virus-free.

Which has more lasting power?

A) Mainframe - 36%
B) Linux - 34%
C) Windows - 30%

Reader comments:
- Without utilities people have nothing. He can gain the most power this way.
- "I neeeed POWER!!!"
- The one thing everyone needs and has no control over.

What property did Bill Gates always buy when playing Monopoly as a child?

A) Utilities - 44%
B) Railroads - 35%
C) Park Place - 21%

Reader comments:
- In "Dallas," maybe, or "Law & Disorder."
- "Behind Bars - The Reality Series."
- The title . . . "Honey, I Cooked the Books."

Who would you pick to star in a tech-related sitcom?

A) Bernie Ebbers - 55%
B) Joe Nacchio - 25%
C) Frank Dunn - 20%

Reader comments:
First episode should consist of him berating/firing that horribly annoying kid in the Dell commercials.

In the tech-industry version of "The Apprentice," which CEO would be best in Donald Trump's role?

A) Michael Dell - 77%
B) Ed Whitacre - 14%
C) David Dorman - 9%

If Bill Gates, Steve Ballmer and Paul Allen were in a rock band, what would they call themselves?

A) The Dominions - 51%
B) Billionaires Rule - 31%
C) Windows - 18%

You're stranded on a desert island, which tech-industry icon would you want with you?

A) Linus Torvalds - 47%
B) Bob Metcalfe - 33%
C) Tim Berners-Lee - 20%

Reader comments:
- He's most likely to know how to build a coconut radio.
- The guy is the MacGyver of the tech industry.

You're on "Survivor" with Scott McNealy, Larry Ellison and Darl McBride. Who do you vote off first?

A) Larry Ellison - 59%
B) Darl McBride - 26%
C) Scott McNealy - 15%

Reader comments:
- Have you ever telecommuted poolside? I have, and it is the future!
- I hate wires. Reminds me of flossing.

The next tech stock mania will be spurred on by?

A) Wireless - 50%
B) Advanced Web services - 32%
C) TiVo - 18%

Tech-industry power broker you'd most like to see marry your sister, if available?

A) Andy Grove - 57%
B) Mike Volpi - 31%
C) Vinod Khosla - 12%

Reader comments:
- Eeeeeewwwwww.
- I don't have a sister, and I wouldn't wish any of them on my brothers.

What punishment would best fit the crime of writing a computer virus that has the power to bring down corporate networks?

A) Employed by Microsoft as patch management engineer for all Windows systems - 73%
B) Life in prison - 16%
C) $1 million penalty for X number of computers affected - 11%

Reader comments: Wonderfully evil justice!

All-time most powerful marketing campaign from a network company?

A) Verizon's "Can you hear me now?" - 56%
B) AT&T's "Reach out and touch someone" - 33%
C) Sun's "The network is the computer" - 6%
D) Microsoft's "Where do you want to go today?" - 5%

Have you ever been the one to launch a virus on your work or home computers?