'Kelso' as Steve Jobs just doesn’t sound right

Ashton Kutcher reportedly to play late Apple founder in movie


Ashton (Michael Kelso) Kutcher as Steve Jobs? That's the word being reported over the weekend, and while I consider myself a bona fide fan of "That '70s Show," I have a hard time imagining Jobs-like words coming out of Michael Kelso's mouth.

I mean let's looks at their respective bodies of work.

On not settling

Jobs: "Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it."

Kelso: "Ya know guys, there are a lot of ladies out there and I haven't seen nearly enough of them naked. From now on, I'm gonna live free. I'm going to be boldly going where no man has gone before."

On philosophies of life and death

Jobs: "No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. ... And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new."

Kelso: "Honesty's cool, man. It's like, I can do anything wrong, and then ask for forgiveness and then I'm good again. Someone should invent a religion like that."


On making judgments

Jobs: "It's really hard to design products by focus groups. A lot of times, people don't know what they want until you show it to them."

Kelso: "I'm not shallow. I just judge women on their looks."

On pursuing your dreams

Jobs: "There is no reason not to follow your heart. ... Stay hungry. Stay foolish."

Kelso: "You married a stripper! You're living every man's dream! Well, not my dream. My dream's always a monkey giving me the finger... and he makes me take off my clothes... you don't want to live my dream."

On personal finance

Jobs: "I'm the only person I know that's lost a quarter of a billion dollars in one year. ... It's very character-building."

Kelso: "Dates cost money."

On anticipating future needs

Jobs: "There's an old Wayne Gretzky quote that I love. 'I skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been.' And we've always tried to do that at Apple. Since the very, very beginning. And we always will."

Kelso: "Look, say I had to catch my own food, right? But I only ate really fast animals? My feet would eventually evolve into rockets."

On quality

Jobs: "Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren't used to an environment where excellence is expected."

Kelso: "This place is awesome, look they've even got dirty cartoons on the wall."

Who knows? Maybe Kutcher can pull it off.

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