Can I sue Verizon for false FiOS advertising?

Video claims FiOS is "in my neighborhood", Web site says it isn't

Verizon today has launched new bundled options of its FiOS broadband Internet service, promising "Quantum" speeds up to 300Mbps for its customers. Check out this flashy video from the company, in which a guy in a flight suit leaps off a very tall mountain and lands "in your house", proving how fast their Internet service is.

In addition to the video, Verizon has posted on its Facebook page an app where customers can type in their address, and the flight suit guy will do the same jump from the top of the mountain, but then will fly "into your house", using a mixture of static Google Maps images, with the final image of your house courtesy of the "Street View" setting.

It's a neat little app, albeit cheesy. Especially when you see the screenshot at the end, proclaiming that "Revolutionary Speed is in your Neighborhood." See the following picture (note, this is not of my house, but the one across the street - see what happens when you rely on bad Google data?).

FiOS Home app

With such a proclamation, I should be rushing to the closest Verizon store with wads of cash in my fist, yelling, "Take My Money!". But unfortunately, there's a small little catch. In order to find out if FiOS is truly "in your neighborhood", you have to type in the same address on their Web site. I did, and got this nice little message:

Sorry Keith, no FiOS for you

Of course, I already knew this, having tried to get FiOS service installed at my house ever since the company was awarded the contract for the town a few years ago. But sadly, FiOS isn't available for my specific street, because the phone lines are buried, and most FiOS customers receive their wicked-fast speeds via telephone poles (at least that's what I've been told).

So instead of at the flight-suit guy flying by my house, I'm suggesting that Verizon change its video to having the flight-suit guy crash and burn after hitting my house, causing a fiery explosion that decimates the neighborhood.

I'd go hire a lawyer for false advertising, but in theory, Verizon could just say that "in your neighborhood" means "in your town", which of course it does provide. I just have to move to a home where the phone lines are above ground, and not buried.

So for the moment, thousands of customers can experience the "faster" speeds of FiOS if they want, but I'm stuck with my jalopy cable broadband service.

UPDATE: I got a nice note from a Verizon spokesman: "Just wanted to let you know that all of our FiOS services are available to ALL of our FiOS customers, even those who live on streets where cables are underground. Perhaps we haven't gotten to your street yet." I certainly hope that this is the case.

Keith Shaw also rounds up the best in geek video in his blog. Follow Keith on Twitter at @shawkeith. For the latest IT news, analysis and how-tos, follow ITworld on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+.

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