nails another nitwit

The mischievous fellows at have long loved to goof on people who send them e-mail asking for illegal hacking services instead of, say, the data-breach statistics that have become a specialty of the security site. A congressional aide who wanted help boosting his college GPA was an all-time classic, but they get these kinds of requests all the time and collect them on a page called Going Postal.

Here's a recent example involving's "lyger" in a back-and-forth e-mail exchange with someone from Dubai who has apparently not seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

E-mailer: "I need your help to gain access to an email account, can you help?"

Lyger: "That depends. What are the details?"

E-mailer: "Details: (target address) ... wat other information do u require to help me?"

Lyger: "What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"

E-mailer: "excuse me? I am sorry but do u want to help me or not?"

Lyger: "Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know."

E-mailer: "arite, so I am no king. now can you pls tell me if you can help me crack this email?"

Lyger: "Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."

E-mailer: "i think u r in no mood to help, sorry i bothered u."

Oh, I'm sure it was no bother at all. ... Any excuse to watch these clips again works for me, at least.

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