Except for the italicized comments, the following are actual excerpts from my spam folders.
- Upsize your magic wand! (Does it give a +3 to Charisma-based skills as well?)
- Make her long for you every night (Uh, I thought that was supposed to work the other way around.)
- Update your penis! (If you do nothing, it will shut down and reboot in 4:59, 4:58, ...)
- Master the art of being good in bed, it isn't as hard as you think (Isn't that the supposed problem to begin with?)
- The confidence comes in the course of time and the sizes fbop pj mkhtxw (If I can't have one in size gkiqa, I'm not interested.)
100 further examples are below, with various degrees of fractured spelling, grammar, or logic, but all promising dramatic enhancements to male sexual organs.
Humor aside, I do have two serious points, and they're this:
- Writing spam filters is hard. Five years ago, a few dozen filter rules I wrote myself could get the job done. Now, beating spam is hopeless without a professional filtering service. (And I do have a standard recommendation of same, for anybody except large enterprises.)
- Spam is a plague. Crafting marketing emails people don't want, but that do get through their spam filters anyway, is vile and very likely to backfire. Don't do it.
Of course, there are exceptions to every broad generalization. There's a whole other category of spam that's consistently funnier than this one, and there's even such a thing as good, socially virtuous spam.
And now, according to my email, here are Fifty Ways to Please Your Lover, and again as many as a bonus.
- 21st century is the century for big penises.
- 25% discount on your penis!
- A longer rod means deeper penetration
- Acquiring a boner has never been easier, check out this xix ky vitpbf
- Add 3 inches in just weeks
- Amend your problem of small dimension
- Ancient secret of pleasing woman 10 times a day has been discovered.
- Be ready for new Spring romance
- Be too hot to resist!
- Best Calias store!
- Best prices for impotence drug$!
- Boost your action in bed.
- Boost your Dignity
- Casanova low-priced package to the discount prices
- CheapestViagra!! 80% Discount on All medicines locpjx sr85
- Check this potence ensurer, its great, mate.
- Cure ED
- Discover the secret behind the man of steel
- Do not let the desease spoil your life!
- Don't be the "little guy" in the club
- Donation for your intimate life.
- Dont allow intimate problems destroy your life, we have the solution for you.
- Exclusive process for resolve you're men's potential
- Few simple steps to dominating in bedroom.
- Fight prostate dysfunction. Bring pleasure back.
- Find out how you can get bigger
- Girls lover a big, think cock - get yours now!
- Give joy to your beloved woman
- Give your partner new feelings while have a sex qago wqfke zew
- Have an unforgetable night with a blue pilule.
- If long dimensions is what you dreamt about.
- If you don't feel proud about the dimensions of your love wand, check out our offer!
- Impotency has broken thousand of families. Protect your home!
- Improve your men's health with WonderCum !
- Instead of having sex once maybe twice a month-you'll be back in the honeymoon form of 2x three or four times a week.
- It Will you be possible to please their 5 times a night?
- Just fancy that it is huge and rock hard!
- Keep erection
- Life may be wonderful!
- Low cost enhancers for men and women
- Male enhancement is not an unachievable dream, make sure now!
- Men with big penises go to heaven!
- Natural augmentation of length and girth will guarantee your happy love!
- Need to get inches?
- New possibility to satisfy her dreams immediately ioy xuaj hwjmqc
- New se>.<u@1 world is waiting for its' leader f npnkf m.
- Our onl cnh ine ph qru ar uk ma jz cy pro kxo vides you with pe uj rfe twu ct e sgg rec tyi ti yzc on irre dme spe uom ctive of you age!
- Perform to the highest expectations with your ED pills
- Pop 2 p il ls, watch you di ck grow in just 1 month, 3 in ch es in 3 months
- Power up your package
- Prove your manliness!
- Proven answers to erection problems
- Put her in trembling fire of pleasure.
- Reach deeper into her every night with your magnificent device
- Recharge your love gun
- Say No to ED!
- Scare the chicks with a monster pole
- Sex became stressful due to your inability to perform at the level??? Take Viagra and feel the difference! The results rock.
- Sexual strength
- She cant forget those nights, when you took blue pilules.
- She will be glad if you can keep it up longer.
- She won't refuse your thick shaft.
- Shocking results on enlargement revealed here
- Spicy your bedroom life.
- Start increasing your small knob today!
- Stimulant efficient growth, a newly product developed.
- Strength and power for you
- Stunning results of your erection available now.
- Success men's pack
- Take ÜberDik and be a man!
- the comments I get about my nights with women are amazing, people think im wizard! rwb qvelig mwzg
- The confidence comes in the course of time and the sizes fbop pj mkhtxw
- The la ns rge me zqa mb acv er has a line of significant advantages in comparison with sm wyr all.
- The most defiant fillies will strive for riding your big Italian stallion.
- The powerful formula of Erectifix guarantees hard and easy to attain erection.
- The si da ze of the m tep em lt ber plays the large role in granting to the woman of the lar tf ge sensual pleasure.
- They Feel more enthusiasm
- Thinking about your enhancing?
- This natural enlargement formula gives better and faster results, than any other methods
- Time is pleasure, make it more durable.
- Turn it to a stick of pleasure.
- Unbridled pleasure of pounding deeper
- Update your dick!
- Upgrade your organ today with our new enhancement packages
- Ur woman will be happy!
- Use Vgaira or Calias plils and be happy. Wonderful se. X everynight!
- Use Vgaira plils and have wonderful se. X everynight!
- Vgaira for you!
- ViagraPillsForOurCustomers
- Want a new boner? Nope, what u need is ablue pill!
- Wave goodbuy to intimate problems
- What to take for more pleasure at night. j
- Women will not tell you what really works, but we do. BLuepill works. Always.
- Would you like to become her number one?
- Would you like to have a larger, fuller and stronger tool? Check this offer!
- You can make your organ huge
- You'll get the best erection you can remember in many years for sure! :)
- Your happiness in love is not far away.
- Your new pecker in the mail.
- (And finally, the most elaborate of all :)
en always would like, that at them all was more, than at others. nlarge your manhood today and reap all the benefits. uys get jealous now when they see me in the bathroom. nd now make a real step to this - buy our means for increase of the m em be r. o not let ladies prefer dildo to you! f the man speaks you, that to him all the same with what at him the si ze of the me m b er - he dissembles. now her from the s ex iu al side how is she i nsi de exactly
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