Verizon FiOS installation sparks … nothing?

It's axiomatic in this business that "Planes land safely at the airport" simply isn't news, much the same as with "Dog bites man" or "Security flaw found in IE."

This standard of ordinariness does not apply, however, when talking about the installation of Verizon FiOS, especially when the installation is happening at your house or the home of a family member. So, it is with great relief bordering on joy that I tell you of the phone call I received this weekend from my father-in-law:

"Sorry, Paul," he said, "nothing happened."

Well, not exactly nothing: A Verizon technician on Friday did spend about five hours at my in-laws' home (including a lunch break) and outfitted the place with FiOS Internet and TV service that appears to be working as advertised.

The technician did not nearly kill himself.

He did not send plumes of smoke throughout the house.

He did not drive neighbors from their homes by hitting a gas line - not once, never mind twice.

He did not fill the front yard with sewage.

And he did not force the Verizon public relations department into damage-control mode, which is never a pretty sight.

Of course, my father-in-law - a master do-it-yourselfer who finished the basement in our former home and just completed a dazzling sun room in his own - was leaving nothing to chance. He has been reading our ongoing coverage of the fiery FiOS follies.

He showed the guy where to drill.

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