The 'Net is a roiling cauldron of clown hatred

Perhaps you've already read about the recent British survey of children in hospital wards that revealed an almost universal hatred of clowns.

Can't say I'm shocked, given that I've been vaguely aware of anti-clown sentiment (which I do not share) for some time. What did surprise me, however, was both the depth of the dislike revealed in the survey, and even more so, the veritable orgy of venomous clown-hating that is to be found on the Internet.

This stuff's too much for even clown-hating kids.

You can start with www.ihateclowns.com, where the proprietor's animus toward painted faces and floppy feet gets downright, well, clownish. "I wish that all clowns had to go down to DMV at the same time to register their silly clown cars," he writes, banishing the lot of them to a fate worse than eternal damnation.

Another clown hater goes so far as to call clowns "evil" … and offers up a horrific picture gallery to prove his point.

There's an online game called "I Hate Clowns."

Clown haters who nonetheless embrace clown imagery.

Psychobabble from clown haters about why people become clowns (think self-loathing, if you haven't already guessed).

Wildly disjointed clown-hate talk such as: "My philosophy on clowns and BBQ."

And clown hatred fueled by random encounters with clowns on public transit. This one calls for an excerpt:

I must have looked like a major tight-ass, because there were kids all around looking at me and laughing. The bloody clown was making a laughing-stock of me. One of the worst feelings in the world is being laughed at by a group of children. Especially when their ringleader is a clown. It gave me the cold sweats and brought back all kinds of unpleasant childhood memories of soiled pants on baseball diamonds at the bottom of the ninth inning. That was a bitter day.

Bitter, yes, it's a thread that runs throughout the genre.

Although few of the haters claim to be so afflicted, coulrophobics can be forgiven their hostility, of course.

I have not a clue as how to explain the rest of these people.

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