* Special category winners highlighted
This week I proudly-but-nervously present the winners in the 2006 edition of The Great Storage Haiku Contest. Today, the special category winners have the stage. Next time, it’s the Grand Prize Winner and the first and second runners-up. Unfortunately, no one qualified for the “Miss Congeniality Award” the time around.
First, a few housekeeping items. You will note that we have many contributions from writers who wish to remain anonymous: in most cases, when you see the content, you’ll understand why. Next, a few people used the rules to their advantage, particularly the rule giving extra credit to literary efforts that were clearly done on company time. I think they deserve an extra boost for that, and occasionally they have gotten one.
So here they are, the best work from your colleagues and mine. Some might even quit their days jobs and go into this full time.
The topic of virtualization inspired the most entries. The four best follow:
The “It’s Not Really There, But It Works Anyway Award”:
Disk and tape are fine
But virtual takes less time
When running online.
-Rich Birkelo, StorageTek
The “This is What Happens when You Work the 3rd Shift Too Long Award”:
Storage turns me on
Don’t stop, sexy white boxes
Virtualize me
– D (anonymous)
The “Etymology for Fun and Profit Award”:
Virtually painless
Says doc with three inch needle
Virtual means “not”
– Dave Hitz, NetApp
“Best Euro-entry”:
Disparate disks need
Virtualisation
For data migration
– Colin Chesterman, IBM Tivoli U.K.
Special Award for “Outstanding Insight by a Municipal Employee”:
Retention shrieking
Government mandates shrill —
Storage vendors’ dream
– Michael Allen, City of Visalia
“The Silver Wallabee – The All-Australia IT Management Association’s Award for Best Contribution to Managerial Survival After Everything Has Hit the Fan”:
Nightly backup fails
RAID is irreparable
Time to call in sick
– Adam Sheen, Mental Illness Fellowship, Victoria, Australia
The “Been There, Done That Award”:
Disaster, IT
Room in summer flame
Recovery Scam!
– anonymous, from France
The “Convoluted Corporate Thinking Prize”:
A new strategy,
But no budget or headcount.
So, what else is new?
– “N”, who requires anonymity
(Note: the following is actually a “double haiku” – but I think it’s deserving of special mention).
Special Award for the poem that best “Identifies A Logic We Would All Like to Use”:
The CFO asks:
“Why spend millions of dollars,
to save ‘ones and ohs’?”
IT’s curt reply:
“All of those ones and zeros
pay for your Lexus.”
– Zach Hayes, NetApp
The “Mirror Cracked Award”:
Double Disk Failure
Rare but not impossible
F***, f***, f***, f***, f***.
– Dave Hitz, NetApp
Next time: Admissions of a renegade vendor, and the Grand Prize Winner.
