Resolutions are interesting things because the coming of a new year always seems to require action, renewal and a cleaning of cupboards. But seeing as how we’re all business here, personal resolutions are not of interest. What we want to address are the things in the IT world that will make us more successful, happier and less stressed.
“Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.”– Eric Zorn, Chicago Tribune
In all of the excitement over Network World’s Crystal Ball issue, it seems we’ve missed one of those rituals that is required when Jan. 1 rushes up to remind us that we’re a year older and deeper in debt. That ritual is the making of resolutions.
Resolutions are interesting things because the coming of a new year always seems to require action, renewal and a cleaning of cupboards. But seeing as how we’re all business here, personal resolutions are not of interest.
What we want to address are the things in the IT world that will make us more successful, happier and less stressed.
So, here are my top 12 suggestions for resolutions that IT folks might want to take to heart:
1. I will read Network World every week starting at the back page, then skip to Gearhead, and then read the entire paper from front to back or any order I prefer, but I will read it I swear.
2. I will work no more than 50 hours each week, which will include the time I spend logged on from home or talking on the phone to idiot executives who are too brain damaged by travel to remember how to switch on their laptops. They don’t pay me enough for the hours I give them, and it’s not like I’m not expendable for heaven’s sake! I will remember that at the first sign of a downturn in our market the IT offices will look like we’re having a ticker tape parade with pink paper.
3. I will try to appreciate the requests for automating the business processes that the various departmental managers ask us to take on as projects and try not to giggle when I tell them that we get about 100 such requests every year, and have the budget to do one of them. I will not try to surreptitiously take a picture with my cell phone camera of the look on their faces when they get the news.
4. I will not put any content management system, CRM system or salesforce automation software from any manufacturer into production unless the vendor is willing to let me hold its salesman hostage. Should it not work out, I resolve that the vendor has to take responsibility for the body.
5. I will start a user training program. I will not let our company have users whose level of computer literacy is below that of first graders.
6. I will stop drinking so much caffeine, eating so much sugar and indulging in lunches that derive more than 75% of their calories from fat – except for those great burritos from the restaurant around the corner.
7. I will stop working when I eat lunch. I will read calming, soothing books instead of browsing the Web over lunchtime. I will remove those bits of pizza that have been stuck between the keys of my keyboard since last June.
8. I will switch on the Web filters for the IT group. They won’t like it but it is the responsible and adult thing to do. I will do it by June. Or maybe August.
9. I will stop complaining about Microsoft security problems. Really, I will.
10. I will stop railing about how lousy and contrived HTML mail is and accept that it is the way of the future. I will create a mail filter that randomly corrupts HTML tags in messages and see if that gets some action.
11. I will accept that the IT budget is what it is and do the best I can with what I have. I will come up with a really good explanation that the CEO will understand as to why the lack of budget wiped his e-mail system away.
12. I will write to Mark Gibbs at least once every month.
So write already! I’m at backspin@gibbs.com.
