Ideas include: blaring alarms, encrypting data. But why stop there?
The British government is demanding that the cell phone industry do more to protect subscribers from phone theft.
This would be the same government that just days ago proudly unveiled shatterproof pint glasses for use in pubs. Neither of the two methods apparently involves actually fashioning the glasses from plastic.
According to the BBC story, these firms “have a social and a corporate responsibility to tackle crime,” says Alan Campbell, Minister for Crime Prevention. Apparently, the minister’s responsibility for crime prevention is to tell everyone else what their responsibility is for it.
Mr. Campbell came up with a helpful analogy: cell phone theft is like car theft, and so is the solution. “He said that following government intervention, innovations in the car industry – such as immobilisers – had helped cut theft by 60% in 10 years.”
The spokesman for the main mobile industry pressure group, GSMA, nodded dutifully and said the industry “supports and welcomes innovations that help to safeguard against mobile phone crime in any guise”.
The government’s Home Office (which oversees counter-terrorism, police and so on) has just unveiled the results of an anti-theft design competition intended to create new cell phones that are less attractive to would-be thieves.
The competition came up with solutions that will be demonstrated at next week’s Mobile World Congress event in Barcelona:
– you carry a second smaller device around with you and then the thief leaps away with your phone, and carries it beyond a certain range, this device sounds an alert that lets you know you’ve been robbed.
– you carry another card, in your pocket or worn around the neck; to execute a mobile commerce transaction, you touch them together to authorize the payment. As long as you remembered the card, or didn’t lose it, or have it, you know, stolen.
– your cell phone and SIM card are electronically married, with a password and encryption to protect the phone’s data. If stolen, the phone ignores a replacement SIM, and keeps all the data scrambled. This one actually sounds promising, but it lacks panache.
Of course, governments being governments, you’ll probably end up with phones that are required to have all three of these alleged innovations.
My favorite line from the BBC story is by David Kester, chief executive of something called the Design Council (which seems to be a taxpayer-funded group dedicated to, you guessed it, better design), who’s quoted as saying, “[With] Just a little bit of a nudge from the government and you see innovation – there are real ideas that can make money for British industry.”
Amazing what those bits of nudges from government bureaucrats can accomplish. Who knew?
Personally, I find these real ideas kind of unreal. I’m sure the American “Yes We Can” attitude can do a lot better. My ideas for anti-theft phones follow:
– Someone can lift your phone and you’d never notice it, even if you were using it, because the things are so blasted light weight. Make them really heavy. Side benefit: unlikely you’ll drop it in a toilet.
– the combination cellphone-tazer: Someone makes a grab for it, press the big red ‘T’ button and leave them spasming on the pavement. Downside: you won’t be able to call 911 or tweet about it until you recharge.
– a special forged metal loop built into the phone’s skeleton lets you clip it your belt, or body harness, with a stylish and attractive titanium-magnesium alloy chain.
– a fast-response managed security service: you set an alarm code, and any attempt to use the phone without the PIN number triggers a high-decibel blaring, and sends the phone’s location to a platoon of ex-SAS or -ForceRecon vets, who land on the thief like a ton of bricks in less than 5 minutes.
– design the phone away: we need the kind of tech that Jack Bauer has on Fox’s “24”. In this picture from the current season, Jack is talking handsfree to his backup team, while manhandling a Russian mafioso and jamming a gun in his back. If that’s not “crime prevention,” I don’t know what is.
– a special locking panel, call it “The Plate,” which covers the keypad or touchscreen when the phone is not in use. Side benefit: lower cell phone bills because you’re using it less yourself.
– cellular camo: special sleeves that fit over your iPhone or Droid and make them look like, say, a Nokia 8210, from 1999, or an IBM Simon Personal Communicator, circa ’93. Only a devote’ of “Antiques Roadshow” would want to steal it.
