The Department of Justice this morning gave its official blessing to the AT&T/BellSouth merger, which leaves only the FCC to act on the deal and only qualifies as news if you believed for an instant that any other outcome had a snowball’s chance.
Of course, the AT&T/BellSouth merger was preordained to survive the “rigors” of regulatory inspection … we’re all grownups here.
But that doesn’t mean we have to swallow this corporate, uh, stuff dished out by BellSouth this morning in one of those quickie press statements the BellSouth public relations department has raised to an art form:
Subject line: BellSouth Responds to Department of Justice: “merger would likely result in cost savings and other efficiencies that should benefit consumers.”
“We are pleased that the Department of Justice has approved the merger between BellSouth and AT&T. We look forward to getting approval from the Federal Communications Commission in the very near future. This merger will create a communications industry leader capable of providing customers across the BellSouth region with the latest in wireline, wireless, broadband and video technologies and innovation.”
It’s all about the customer, you see, just like the Justice Department says. Of course, the DoJ says it’s so because the law says it must be so for the DoJ to break out the rubber stamp. (Never mind those stockholders and corporate execs greedily wringing their hands over there in the corner.)
The circularity of this “consumer benefit” charade can be seen in the DoJ’s assessment of another merger this summer, the one between household appliance heavyweights Whirlpool and Maytag.
“The parties substantiated large cost savings and other efficiencies that should benefit consumers,” the DoJ said of that deal, with nary a mention of what it might mean for The Maytag Repairman (rest in peace, Gordon Jump).
Now I haven’t bought a washer or dryer in awhile, so I can’t vouch for whether that Whirlpool/Maytag union has turned out to be the boon for consumers that the DoJ promised. I presume there’s some trickle-down economics to play out there.
However, I do need a new central air conditioning system to replace the one that just gave up the ghost. This might not be a natural fit, but I’m thinking I might save a bundle if only AT&T can stop collecting carriers and instead buy Carrier.
