We are not talking about some collector’s rarity of The Beatles “Revolution Number 9,” or even Wilson Pickett’s “Engine Number 9.”
(Update 3, Saturday: Saturday or no Saturday, I have sent a second e-mail inquiry and left a telephone message with Amazon PR asking what’s up with this incredibly expensive house number. … I just need to know. … The kids can eat lunch later.)
(Update 4, March 29: Site says item is no longer available. Still no word from Amazon PR, despite my having had a lovely conversation to one of their PR professionals who promised she would get back with an explanation.)
It’s just a plain, old number 9, the kind you nail outside your front door if the number of your street address happens to be number 9 or contain a number 9. (Unfortunately, mine is number 4.)
Amazon.com is selling this number 9 to beat all number 9s for just a shade over a quarter of a million dollars. (Update, Saturday, 5 a.m.: Good fortune for all, as the price has been slashed to $999.99. … No word from Amazon as to why or what this is all about.)
While the material it’s made from is not noted, one should safely presume that it is a precious metal – an extremely precious metal – of some sort or another. The number is manufactured by Ives, which, according to the company’s Web site has door accessories hanging at the White House, Pentagon, Chrysler Building and Empire State Building. No word on whether any of that hardware is a quarter-million-dollar number 9.
According to the packaging, this particular number 9 comes with a “lifetime finish,” which only seems reasonable.
The wiseacres are already leaving their product reviews on Amazon:
“A little pricey,” writes one, who then adds, “I’ve had the cheap ones before but they don’t last. How much for a number 6?”
Another offers: “I was desperate for some new house numbers, but I weigh too much to leave the house, let alone drive to Home Depot. These seemed to fit the bill perfectly; my house number happens to be 99990. … For over a million bucks, I was expecting some sort of extravagance, be it platinum backing, a hidden long-range cruise missile, or a mind-control ray.”
Nope, just number 9s.
Oh, and shipping is 10 bucks.
(Update: I’ve sent an inquiry to Amazon’s public relations department seeking some kind of explanation for this.)
(Update 2, Saturday: Best review yet: “What most of the other reviewers seem to be missing is that this is no ordinary house number. It is 54’6″ high, weighs 7 metric tons, and casts a shadow over the entire neighborhood. … The guy next door to me, at #7, gets no sunlight from 2-3pm on most summer days. That alone is worth the price.”)
