Antagonized into an Fisticuff of Advocates

My esteemed editor just received the following scam via snail mail from a Texas inmate who was apparently inspired by the finely worded content of Nigerian 411 scam letters …

John Dix, “I am writing with fervent concerns, pertaining to an current (2) year order, in which I have placed with your establishment, for 2005.” “Mr. Dix, this is my third mailing, inquiring into this matter, within as many months.” “I have awaited patiently, as well as tentatively, for my order to be processed, but all has come to, no avail, perchance, our misconstruation, may be rectified.” “Encased, within this enclosure, you shall please find, an documentation, as used in all of its duplicity, as presented to your Network World, which states by designated government officials, the cadence of my subscripted order.” “Mr. Dix, the detatchment of this document forth rendard to you, to say the least, is most undoubtedly, an tangible leagle notice of funds from my account being placed, and cancelled, to acquire my order stated.” “Mr. Dix, to deny this visual verification, would seem, albeit ludicrious, as my primary objective, is to obtain full purchase of my order.” “I am not seeking to be antagonized into an fisticuff of advocates, but Mr. Dix, with no receipt of my purchase within an shortcoming, I shall have no alternative.” Mr. Dix, I do thank you for your time, and concern.” Sincerely [A. Prisoner]