More HP on Fiorina severance suit

Having pondered the matter for an afternoon, HP’s legal eagles have apparently decided that a perfunctory “no comment” will not suffice as the company’s response to a lawsuit filed by two pension funds contending that $42 million “in severance and other payments” for fired CEO Carly Fiorina last year was a bit over the top.

Moments ago the BuzzBlog inbox received an e-mail from HP public relations with the subject line: “Updated severance lawsuit statement.”

The new statement?

“HP believes the suit is without merit.”

Well stop the presses and get me rewrite. (Buzz actually got to yell “stop the presses” for real once at an honest-to-goodness newspaper: 20 years ago … space shuttle Challenger exploded. … I’m not old enough to have ever said “Get me rewrite.”)

HP’s amended reply got me thinking about how cool it would be — hypothetically speaking — if just once the party getting its backside sued off decided that the best public face would be a brutally honest one.

“Our legal department has examined the filing and, oh, man, do these guys ever have an airtight case. The lawyers were actually sobbing. … A settlement check is in the mail.”

I might even yell “get me rewrite” for that one.