A lesson in letter writing for the lazy Microsoft pro
Dear (name of boss). I didn’t really write this letter, but if you knew that, you probably wouldn’t be willing to give me the $2,200 I’m about to ask for because I want to spend a week in New Orleans. You see, Microsoft is hosting an event called TechEd starting Monday in the land of Mardi Gras, which would be, like, wicked fun, but I can’t think of any legitimate reason for our corporate masters to pay for this trip. So I’m just going to let Microsoft do the talking for me.
You see, I logged onto the TechEd website, which said I need $2,195 to go to the show, plus another $400 for “pre-conference seminars.” I’m pretty sure that doesn’t include hotel and plane tickets. There are, like, 1,000 sessions at this event, which sounds like a lot. I’m bound to learn something, or at least get a nice continental breakfast and a pen with a Microsoft logo out of it.
So I clicked on the “register” link and something reminded me that I probably need someone else to give me the money so I can afford this thing. That “something” was a link that says “convince your boss.”
“The biggest challenge with any innovation can be showing others how valuable it is. We can help,” the TechEd website told me, in the most convincing sentence I read all day. “We’ll e-mail the key decision-makers in your office to make it easier for you to get to Tech·Ed 2010, and help them see all the ways attending can pay off.”
This extra-special “convince your boss” site includes a nice form letter creation tool. All I had to do was fill in four fields – titled “Your boss’ name”, “Your boss’ e-mail address”, “Your name”, and “Your e-mail address”, and then click “send.”
That’s why you, my boss, received this letter:
“Your boss’ name
I’ve been doing some research on training & development that will not only enhance my skills but bring added value to the team. The best option seems to be Tech·Ed 2010. It offers unlimited opportunities and learnings. A great way to get the most out of our IT Training budget.
Microsoft Tech·Ed is the premier Technology event of the year for IT professionals and developers. It’s the forum to gain the expertise, connections, and insights that will help us get more from our existing IT investments. I will be able to network with peers who know exactly what we’re going through and learn from Microsoft employees who know the most about the products we’re working with.
According to Independent Research even in the current economic climate, the average company is spending 3.4% of revenue to support existing IT infrastructure as well as IT capital expenditure. Therefore, I think sending me to Tech·Ed will help us make the most of our IT investments.
…
Let’s chat about this as soon as we can. If you want to find out more about what’s going on at Tech·Ed, check out https://northamerica.msteched.com
Thanks,
Your name”
I hope you, my boss, enjoyed receiving such a personal e-mail from me, your employee. I guess what I was trying to say in this letter, which I didn’t write, is that Microsoft really thinks it would be a good idea for me to go to TechEd, even though I don’t have any idea why I should go. I know we probably already give Microsoft about a million bucks a year or so for Windows and Office, but they must be really struggling for cash these days. You should probably get your wallet out now. There are no words to describe how much I want to go to TechEd, except for the ones Microsoft wrote for me.
Sincerely,
Generic, interchangeable employee
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