Learning how to be a good listener is an important part of developing your relationship skills. There are many reasons why it’s hard to be a good listener. You might be so pre-occupied with your inner voice that you can’t hear a thing the other person is saying. Or you might be so set in your own ideas that you have a hard time being open to someone else’s view. Or maybe the other person is waxing on in a way that makes it hard for you to concentrate on what they are saying.
Regardless of the reason you may not be listening, a failure to hear and understand another person is a sure way to get a relationship off to a shaky start. A common complaint from our IT customers is that we often fail to listen and as a result fail to understand what they are requesting for technical solutions.
The good news is that we can all become better listeners, but just like developing a muscle, you need to purposely work on developing this skill. First, you need to make the effort to concentrate when someone else is speaking. This requires that you make sure your mind doesn’t wander and that you ignore your inner voice. It means that you force yourself to stop anticipating what the person is going to say next or what you are going to say in return. Being able to concentrate in such a way actually takes some practice. Second, you need to say something that lets the other person know you understood what they just said. In other words, communicate to them that you were not only listening, but you also understood what they were trying to convey to you. For example, you might say, “I understand why you are so angry about us not completing the project on time.”
Good listening is one way you demonstrate respect for another person. And respect is critical for building solid relationships. Try my suggestions, and let me know the difference it makes.
