Michael Cooney
Senior Editor

Mankind is doomed

Opinion
May 11, 20051 min

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OK, has anyone at Duke University Medical School seen “Planet of the Apes”? (And we mean the original, not the Tim Burton remake with the ending that makes no sense.)

We’re gonna guess the answer is “No,” as Duke researchers thought it was a good idea to teach monkeys how to use robotic arms.

“They performed detailed analysis of the mass of neural data that emerged from experiments reported in 2003, in which the researchers discovered for the first time that monkeys were able to control a robot arm with only their brain signals.”

Monkeys: smart, can be dangerous. Robots: also smart, definitely dangerous. Monkey-operated robots: mankind enters into servitude of the aforementioned.